long story short?
i quit the job that i'd been at for almost five (holy cow) years and began managing a three story night club on the Lower East Side.
ta-dah. how's that for concise?
do i have experience managing a night club? no.
am i working double the time for way less money than my previous job? sure.
so much so that i took on a second job at a restaurant where we do sake shots when we're stressed and the boys in the kitchen feed me sushi all night? wait. what was the question?
either way, i changed my life. it is better. i'm learning a lot. and so i shall now pass along a few prime nuggets of wisdom garnered from being all up in da' club.
BOUNCERS ARE REALLY INTERESTING PEOPLE. some of the wackiest conversations in my life have been in the last few months and they've all taken place with men i have to jump two feet in the air to high five. seriously. talk to someone new this week. experiences and perspectives outside your own are fantastic to be around. and/or. befriend a 6 foot 10, three hundred fifty pound man. remember ladies: big man = big personality. your life will be zanier and more enjoyable for it.
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, NIGHTCLUBS ARE NOT ABOUT COKE IN BATHROOMS. they're about puke on floors.
YOU CAN ADJUST TO GOING TO BED AT 6AM TWO NIGHTS A WEEK. and if that's possible people, then you, we, i can do anything. i promise.
EVEN IN A DANCE CLUB, PEOPLE DON'T DANCE. i suppose it depends on the night, but it's kinda rare that i see people get all sweaty dance dancing. sad. terribly sad, but true. i didn't, however, say that they don't grind their (or someone else's) asses off.
CLUB LIFE IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL. i love my life. i am blessed. we are young, so we set the world on fire. call me maybe. okay, well maybe not all the music the club plays is spiritually uplifting (and no, i'm not hyperlinking the carly jepson song), but it makes you bounce on your feet and it plays in your head for days on end and, in general, it's happy making. sure, there are songs with the chorus of ass ass ass ass [kids beware: that hyperlink is DIRTY and CURSE-Y] and i find myself inserting the words shot shot shot shots into everyday conversations, but my family learned The Wobble at New Years and we giggled our ass ass ass asses off while doing it.
in summation: do it. take that chance. make that leap. live a frickin' little and every now and then dance until you're sweaty dance. because not enough people are. also, if you see something that looks like chunky petroleum jelly on the floor, for goodness sake, step around it. most likely, it's puke.